Geant Casino Dole 39

Tell us a little about yourself.
I usually say “Oh, I hate talking about myself” when prompted with this question, but I won’t do that, even though I kinda just did. Screw your rules, me. Kinda. Anyway, my name is Sade. I’ll be 27 in two weeks, which means I can finally die and join the 27 club. Just need to get famous real quick. I’m a nomad and an artist of various mediums who doesn’t seem to understand the concept of “heavy workload” or “public decency” or “positively contributing member of society”. I live on a bus that’s been converted into a mobile bookstore with my best friend, seven anoles, a dog, and a cat (among quite a few dead things), and though I don’t like talking about myself, I probably could for hours, so I’ll leave you with this: have you ever thought about what the inside of your face smells like?
When did you first become interested in horror?
From a very young age, I lived and breathed all things horror. My father introduced me to most of the things I love in life, and horror was no exception. I very fondly recall sitting on the couch with him and watching the ‘88 creature feature shlockfest Pumpkinhead. After that, I was obsessed. He would let me run amok in the video rental store (remember those?), and I would always beeline straight for the horrosci-fi section. This man had me watch the original Final Destination the day before I was supposed to take a flight to visit my grandparents. He let me watch The Wizard of Gore when I was ten! I never stood a chance.
What truly got me into horror as a genre, however, was reading. Libraries and bookstores were second homes to me, and I would spend hours in them after school and on weekends. My father was a pretty avid reader, so there were always good things to pick through. I still have my copies of the horrosuspense anthology 999 (edited by Al Sarrantonio) and Stephen King’s Everything’s Eventual that he gave me as a kid.
I love trash. I am a trash person, and I consume trash media greedily. Splatter, camp, b-movies, exploitation, grindhouse, and so on. Some of my personal favorites are Dead Alive/Braindead, The Driller Killer, Ms. 45, Slime City, and Evil Dead.
What's the most terrifying thing you've personally experienced?
I have an uncanny ability to put myself in extremely dangerous situations and places I have no business being party to. I’ve had a lot of paranormal experiences, and have also had some very close calls with very bad people related to the drug world. But I’m going to have to say that, as beautiful as it is and as much as I love it, there’s nothing more terrifying than nature. Its power and capability for severity have always astounded me.
At Hampton Beach, as a child of ten or so, I was swimming in the ocean. It was a bright day out, and fairly hot. The kind of bright that blinds you if you spend too much time looking at the sand. I’ve always been equally terrified and entranced by the ocean; the thought of a body of water so vast, so unknown, filled with creatures I’d only seen in movies or read about in books, and so much more than we could ever discover. It’s intoxicating. I was swimming not too far out from the shore when there was a huge swell, and I got caught in an undertow. My body felt as though it was being thrown by something enormous and powerful, like I’d been snagged by some giant underwater beast and was being dragged to the depths. I was pulled out, rolling what looked like just under the surface, still able to see through the water into the sunlight piercing the surface, and I could feel myself drowning. It happened so quickly, so harshly, and in those moments, I thought I was going to die.
How did you initially discover NoSleep? What prompted you to begin writing for it?
I’ve been on Reddit for a very long time, far longer than I’d like to admit. I’ve cycled through a bunch of different usernames and circles. I’d peripherally known of NoSleep, but never really checked it out. In June of 2016, I stumbled across the sub, lurked for a while reading as much as I could, and fell in love with the atmosphere and general direction the community had. I created a new account under the name decomprosed and, sitting in the corner of the bar I was working in at the time, wrote the story Junk Food on my phone. It wasn’t very good and was terribly cliche, but it reignited something within me that I’d lost a long time ago. I’ve been writing since the age of six (boy, lemme tell you how much I worried my teachers), but during a long abusive relationship in which I was constantly told I was terrible and shouldn’t show anyone my work, I stopped. In discovering NoSleep, I rediscovered my passion for writing.
What NoSleep stories and/or authors have had the strongest impact on you?
Like many others, when I first joined up, I read the Top - All stories. Additionally, unlike a lot of people as far as I’d seen, I used to camp out in the New tab fairly often, so I got a chance to see things before they’d had any impact on the community (if at all). Some of my favorites of all time have been Real hunger can’t be fed. I know that now, Pac Man Fever, Room 733, the first half of the Free Petz to Good Home series, Eden Musee, What Makes Us Human, the Record Keeper series, My dog was lost for three days. What came back wasn't my dog, and The Devil’s Toybox.
There are a ton more I’m missing from this list, but I used to read a lot of the sub. Nowadays, not so much. As for specific authors, I just wanna throw a shoutout to grindhorse for being another purveyor of the absurd and surreal and iia for showing me very early on that you can be absolutely fucking disgusting––yet still beautiful––and be well-received. u/sleepyhollow_101 has my soul locked in a sigil-scrawled box somewhere in her closet and occasionally takes it out to poke with a stick. On a similar note, no one’s writing on NoSleep (and pretty much in general) entrances me more than cold__cocoon’s does. Their ability to craft a world that feels so unendingly, richly organic and birth characters that feel like people I’ve met in reality and in dreams is astounding.
What are some of your biggest influences in media? Have any stories, on NoSleep or otherwise, or any books, films, or music ever had an impact on your writing?
That’s a pretty massive question, to be honest. Can I just be a dick and answer this with “yes” and move on? People like to say that they don’t take influence from the media they consume, but I think that’s pretty absurd; impossible, even. We’re constantly changing our outlooks on things based on what we take in. I’m a voracious reader––always have been. I hungrily consume heavily visceral and graphic films. I’ve always looked to the vastest extremes in media and art for what I always hope can be a transcendental experience. To be quite honest, though, I take more from my personal experiences in the world than I do from my choice of entertainment.
Some of my personal artistic mentors have always been John Waters, Edward Gorey, Diamanda Galas, William S. Burroughs, Aleister Crowley, Sheila Legge, Egon Schiele, Clive Barker, David Cronenberg, Lydia Lunch, Max Ernst, Sylvia Plath, and Junji Ito. And so many more.
But what inspires me the most?
In a word: Trash. I love traaaash. Filthy guttery punky garbage dumpster trash. Trash cinema, trash food, trash people. Trash everything. I live by the moral code of John Waters. Filth is life, and life prospers best in conditions that are filthy.
Other than writing, what are some of your hobbies? What other creative mediums do you enjoy?
As I said earlier, I’m an artist of quite a few mediums and I don’t have hobbies, I have absolute compulsive obsessions. Here’s a list. Motherfuckers love lists. Dancing, painting, taking apart and fixing vintage electronic systems (VCRs, cassette decks, 8track players, etc.), surrealist art, kicking boulders, occultism, dead places/urban exploration, 80s goth culture, oddities, body modification, the paranormal. I don’t know. What do people like? Am I people?
Aside from writing, I also paint, draw/illustrate, dance, make music, draw, and scream a lot. Screaming is an art, you know. I like to do voice acting.
I used to love drawing, but ended up thinking I was terrible at it. About a month ago, I tried my hand at it again and realized I was actually pretty decent, and fell back in love with the medium. I started up an instagram and have been drawing every single day.
Likewise, I sat down for the first time in years and tried making music again, and found I was able to commit to the sound I wanted like never before. Taking my project name from the iia story Soft Teeth, I began scraping together some sounds and have been working heavily on a yet-to-be-titled album. You can hear some of the demos on Soundcloud, and I’ll be releasing it as a pay-what-you-want download on Bandcamp in the coming weeks.
Besides being a musician in that I play instruments, I take more to the side of sound design. With producing, I aim to unsettle as much as I can. There are things you can do with sounds that one could never achieve with words or images, and I’m fascinated by the aspect of tweaking a two second clip of noise into something of tangible auditory beauty or disgust.
In the future, I plan to produce most of my work through various platforms, utilizing a combination of sights, sounds, and words to tell stories on different levels. I’m also about to launch a multimedia press named de.ta.ch, which will allow me to have complete control over the final product.
You're the creator of /TheDirty31, a subreddit where users challenge themselves by writing and posting one new story daily in each month containing 31 days. How did you come up with the concept for D31? Are there any stories or moments from the sub's history so far that were particularly memorable for you?
I’ve always loved torturing myself. I hate deadlines and structure for the most part, but I’m also a massive masochist. I was writing pretty much every single day, but I thought, “How can I make this worse?” I decided on writing and posting a new story for every day in October of 2016 (much like the art challenge Inktober).
But! aside from being a masochist, I’m also a huge sadist. I thought to myself, “How can I suck others into this; force friends and strangers to share the pain?” A user named thequietestwhisper requested a way to keep track of the stories I was posting each day. These two things combined into the twisted beast of The Dirty 31, and it just grew from there.
It’s hard to pick out a specific story from amongst the hundreds, but I’d have to say the general world-weary feelings of dread and support that the group as a whole held during that initial run were pretty spectacular. It was much like war (in that we were all stranded on foreign soil, eating our own toes, and no one truly won). valkeezy has been doing a phenomenal job holding the stitches together since I haven’t had any time to dedicate to it, and the recent addition of distantoranges to the mod team was a top notch choice.
You've mentioned that you plan to release your series, Drift, as an ebook. Are you able to share any info on the status of that?
Unfortunately, the progress of publishing Drift kind of fell to the wayside, as things do. As mentioned, I’ll be starting an independent press soon, and Drift will be put out both physically and electronically through there. I’ll be setting up a mailing list for my projects eventually, and all further news will be published on my personal website.
When writing Drift, you chose to use an alt account, establishing a background for the protagonist by posting in drug related subreddits prior to sharing the story to NoSleep. How did using an alt help enhance immersion for the series?
Writing and publishing the series was an absolute blast. I wanted to create something that was unique and immersive, but didn’t have the time to commit to anything like setting up a phone number or a website, so I went with something I knew a little too well; drug culture. I created the account LivFreeAndDie and immersed myself in the various drug-related subreddits. People were receptive. I created a backstory through comments and posts, slowly and organically manufacturing and bringing up connections to people and places I had conceived for the series. Then, at a critical point, after I’d mentioned the decline of my “brother’s” health and the search for this made-up drug, I launched the story. I wrote all four parts (roughly 20,000 words) as I posted them, and the reception was fantastic. The first part remains, to this day, my highest upvoted NoSleep post. Users would continually comment about having checked my post history and finding connections to the elements of the story at hand, and I think it definitely kicked things up a notch.
The whole immersion aspect of NoSleep is something I have a thorough love-hate relationship with, but I more than enjoyed it for Drift.
You recently made the decision to no longer post your work online, instead opting to solely contribute to print based mediums. What prompted that change?
Spending too much time posting on NoSleep, in my opinion, was starting to dumb down my writing. I don’t mean this as a slight to my fellow authors, nor to the community in general. The rules and regulations, the inability to break the world; I was beginning to see it shape my writing. What had once rebirthed my love for the craft was beginning to become all that I wrote for, and I resented it. After a lengthy thought process and a few conversations with my friend, I came to the conclusion that I needed to break away from the sub and try something new, or I was probably going to stop writing altogether. I picked up my typewriter for the first time in forever and banged out the first draft of the first story I’d felt truly happy with in a while, entitled FIRST CONTACT. From that point, I decided to write as many of my first drafts as I could on the typewriter (I named her Stoya), and it’s brought me a lot of fresh perspectives I don’t think I would’ve otherwise found.
To clarify, I will still be submitting writing to online publications, but I likely won’t be posting work on Reddit or Tumblr anymore. I may still post the sequel to Mourning Wood, the story which made me a household name (households that need to be torn down, obviously), since I feel like I owe that to this fucked up little family.
Along with brokenlotus you co-own and operate The Road Virus, a mobile bookstore specializing in horror, sci-fi, and fringe literature. Can you tell us a little about the origin of TRV, and your future plans for it?
My best friend Em and I discovered a mutual love of books, bookstores, and libraries within one another. It’d been a dream of both of ours to own a bookstore since we were kids. Living in San Francisco at the time, this would have been completely impossible with rent prices and competition. So, we did the next best (and totally sane) thing and bought a bus that had once serviced the Perry County (Indiana) Public Library as a bookmobile. With Em’s past as a librarian, and my being an author, forever nomad, and always having dreamt of being a long haul trucker, it was perfect. Ridiculous, but perfect.
We’re sitting in Florida right now finishing renovations with the help of a longtime NoSleeper, Cody (throwawatsalesman), about to officially embark out onto the road full time, and we’re beyond excited for the weirdness that lies ahead.
We plan to travel the US for the next two years, at least. We converted the front half of the bus into a bookstore and the back half into an RV. A brick and mortar is definitely on our minds for the future, but in the meantime, we’re looking to bring fringe literature to all of the desolate parts of the country (and hopefully beyond).
You can read more about the bus on our website and across social media by following @roadvirusbus.
Much of your writing features lgbt characters, and you've stated previously that queer horror has a noticeable lack of representation on NoSleep. Why do you feel that is?
As an openly queer person myself, I write what I want to see. And what I want to see is representation. A lot of the blowhards who seem to have a problem with the concept of LGBT+ people being, y’know, people, tend to come up with the brutish argument of, “Oh, this just seems forced” at the inclusion of any typically “othered” character makeups.
The following is a list of actual comments I’ve received:
“Wait so are you a guy or not - Edit: yep Carl is a dudes name"
"I feel sorry for you. But I can't understand whether you are a man or a woman? You say you have a husband named Ed now, but the toothless man said "boys will be boys" to you and your brother."
"so... you're a girl, but you said you had a girlfriend, that makes no sense"
"the narrator being gay took me out of the story"
"This isn't how a gay guy would act"
"You made that character gay just to be different"
The unabashed ignorance and immunity to reality that some people on NoSleep seem to hold and promote is beyond me. But I get it. You know what you know, right? Well, if that’s what you know, then I think that the shit you know needs to change. Drastically. Queer people, gay people, trans people; they exist. It’s not a fad or a passing flame. There are literally dozens of us!
Given that most published authors are straight white men––at least those lauded by pop media––the world of literature would be a very fucking boring place if people only wrote what they were. But there is a fine line to walk; that of representing but not exploiting or making a cheap gimmick or stereotype of (and I say this as a person who loves and appreciates garbage exploitation films). An author I highly respect and love, Harlan Ellison, does this impeccably. The easiest way to write a character who’s based on something you don’t know or have never experienced is to do research and write them first as a person, and then as the model you’re trying to represent.
Are there any topics you feel are too controversial for you, or that you prefer not to mention in your writing?
No, not really. At least I haven’t come across one. My writing has touched on most of the things people mention in these answers: abuse, rape, racism, child death. I find therapy in the process of creating, and I’ve dealt with a lot of the things I write about first or secondhand. It’s a fluid sense of catharsis, and one I hold dear.
Do you have any favorite reader reactions to your writing?
Among the gamut of variations of “what the fuck” (“what the shitting christ is wrong with you” was a good one), I would have to say the entirety of the thread of my story Mourning Wood was my favorite. The plant/gardening puns were many and egregious. Besides shitting themselves over how “fucked up” a scene was, people have also come to me and told me that some of my stories were the most beautiful and sad things they’ve ever read, and that’s something I cherish.
What stories or projects of yours are you most proud of?
For writing, I would have to say the Red Wings stories are my favorites. Writing in her voice has been my favorite word-based experience thus far. I’m going to be turning them into a full length novel at some point; I’d love to see it in graphic novel form. I also love From the Mouths of Babes, which was a /ShortScaryStories post. I love doing short, punchy, biting surreal pieces. It’s where I’m most comfortable. Utilizing an amalgamation of surreal, visceral descriptions with achingly real characters and vast worlds is always my goal.
For visual art, two pieces come to mind. This abstract self-portrait and this portrait of a witch and her feline familiar. I only started drawing about a month ago, but I’m quickly developing a stark lowbrow style, and I’m enjoying myself.
And in general, The Road Virus. My friend and I bought a goddamn bus and are traveling the country selling books. Dream come true.
What advice would you offer new contributors to NoSleep?
Don’t forget who you are, and what you want to write. NoSleep can be so, so many things. It can be an inspiration, a launching pad, an endless pool from which to derive meaning in your words, words that might’ve otherwise never seen the light of dark; but it can also be harrowing and damning, making you question yourself, second-guess your stories, constantly be seeking validation from your peers and online readers, some of which like to spit acerbic haunts from behind a projected keyboard shield. You’re better than you think you are, so stop worrying about what everyone else wants, or thinks, or whatever. Write for the sake of writing, post for the sake of feedback, do whatever you feel the need to do in order to make your writing work for you. But don’t let NoSleep become the concrete formula for your process. Write every day. Engage in the OOC sometimes. Join the IRC if you’re feeling up to chatting. And for the love of hell, read a fucking book. I’m aware that some people “just don’t like to read”, but you cannot improve as a writer unless you read. Also, it’s just fun. Learning is amazing. Channeling yourself into other worlds you’d otherwise never see is king. Live deliciously, or live not at all.
What are your short-term and long-term writing goals?
I would like to be paid large sums of money and/or gold bars for shitting out a listicle on Thought Catalog every other full moon. That, or at least find sustainability in my writing. I want to be read. I want my physical books to be in physical hands and for people to lick their physical thumbs and turn their physical pages (jk actually don’t do that it squicks me out). I want to write for magazines, to have articles published. I’d like to reinvent myself as a new journalist (the movement, not the freshness) and put myself in the rough to gain access to interesting stories from immense worlds. I’d like to make my website a frequently-used platform for blogging my thoughts and feelings (what are those again?). I want to show more people that writing can be bizarre and surreal without being meaningless.
I want a lot of things, and I’m slowly picking up the tools to perform them every single day.
Community Questions:
From tanjasimone: Which is your favourite horror erotica duo with the initials JE and when are they releasing their next story?
Jerk Ember? No… Jasmine Explosion? Nah… Jewish Emissary? Fuck… Uh… oh right JIZZ ENSEMBLE. Hot DOG. I don’t know, Tanja, WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO WRITE THEIR FIRST STORY???? This is as much your fault as it is mine. I suggest a mutual paddling. With barbed wire wrapped around those rubber screaming duck toys. Shit, am I writing our first story at this very moment????
From iia: Frasier mad lib? Poppy (verb, -ed) the (adjective) (noun) of Niles while Maris watched, (adverb) (verb, -ing).
Poppy scraped the faithful mons pubis of Niles while Maris watched, hopelessly prostrating.
From taos777: How often do touch your plant?
I don’t know, Greg, how often do you touch your plants? That’s the REAL question here. You wanna know why? Because I’ve got a lot of filthy soil between my fingers, and it ain’t homegrown, if you know what I’m saying. I’ve got a green thumb, buddy, but your plants know what else is even greener.
From Zchxz: Which superpower would you choose and why? Hero or villain? And of course, what would your name be?
Definitely telekinesis, because it opens the door––without touching it––for so many other possibilities. With practice, bending other things in the world to one’s will seems eventually plausible. Flight, pyrokinesis, being impervious, in a sense, to attack; all of this should be possible through movement via the mind. And the concept of unlocking one’s brain’s potential in such a vast, unending way feeds into a lot of speculation on the possible applications of metaphysical abstraction through extrasensory manipulation. I’d most likely be an antihero. Fuck that heroism and valiance shtick. I’m a bad seed with good intentions. I’d rip evildoers in half and strike a match for my cigarette off of their twisted corpses, all with my mind. All while saying sassy, semi-nonsensical shit that makes them go, “I’m getting bested by a dude who just made a near-incomprehensible and terribly punned dick joke??? Really???!!” right before their eyes explode. Nice.
My name would be “The Raging Stamen”, and I would carry a gun lovingly referred to as my “Lil Pistil”.
From kneeod: Have you introduced Fulci to Marge? Also, Who's your favorite James Bond?
I prefer to keep business and pleasure separate, thanks. I can’t believe you stole the James Bond question from Mikey. You know it’s all he has…
David Niven was pretty wonderful in the ‘67 spoof version of Casino Royale. In general, I think Brosnan’s Bond had too much self-aggrandizing swagger. He was always just a little too… I don’t know, primped and proper, for me. I like my bond rougher, dirtier. The other guy… uh… Shawn Canary? Yeah, the Australian. Now he was a man. Yee-haw. I’ll be honest, and I welcome the crucifixion, but really loved Daniel Craig’s version. He fulfilled a lot of the key points of what made Bond for me; self-assured, rugged, brutal when necessary. But simultaneously sensitive in a way that wasn’t cheesy or played out. He pulled it off in a way that really felt right for the new generation, a more action-packed and fast paced blood-pumper.
From AsForClass: What other adventures have you had that you would consider comparable to your amazing bus adventures?
I feel like I’ve lived ten different timelines in my almost 27 years, and I don’t say that lightly. I’ve done a lot, seen a lot, experienced a lot. I leave this to my recent trip to Tokyo with brokenlotus. We lived rough, travelled light, and experienced a hell of a lot. Living in another country like you’re not a tourist is, in my opinion, one of the only right ways to truly travel.
From MikeyKnutson: When are we going to tell them about the engagement? Stop hiding me!
Respond to my carrier pigeons about the boils that’ve started popping up all over my feet and maybe then we’ll talk.
From Blueballs69_: Can I touch you the way you touch my heart?
I don’t care how many attempts the FBI makes, I’m not admitting to any of those fraudulent ER surgeon open-heart surgery murders.
From iwantabear: what is your favorite kind of candy? how many cows have you shamed?
Fuck, there are at least two kinds of candy. How do you expect me to make decisions like this? Sour Patch Watermelons are bomb. I love a good Snickers. Some may call me a pervert, but I fucking love me some marmite/vegemite. That counts as candy––unless you’re a terrorist or something. All sorts of Japanese candies I can’t remember the names of (one of them was possibly a scorpion dick; I don’t know, things got weird). Tamarind chewy things of all kind.
Unlike SOME people (not naming names, but definitely naming bears), I have NEVER shamed a cow. I’ve pet a few. They are so velvety. I have secret knowledge that brokenlotus once pissed on a cow. She was drunk, she thought it was an oddly warm/soft wall. These things happen.
From decomprosed: Why are you such a nasty, unrelenting bitch?
I learned it by watching you! I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!!!
Still eager to devour more decomprosed?
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Make sure to check out The Road Virus website, sign up for their newsletter to see where they're headed next, buy some swag ^{help, do people still say swag?} and follow their adventures @roadvirusbus on Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, and Snapchat!
Didn't get a chance to ask Decomprosed your question?
Chill your roll, Bob Dole! He'll be doing a LIVE AMA in the unofficial OOC chat Thursday, May 18th from 5-7 pm EST! To ensure all questions are asked and answered in an orderly fashion, inquiries will be submitted by entering the IRC and private messaging them to cmd102. All appropriate questions will be asked if time permits.
NoSleepInterviews would like to say a huge thank you to that groovy garden ghoul, decomprosed, for taking the time to talk to us! You're super spooky, Mr. Hobo, and we can't wait to see you continue to shatter the stratosphere in every media realm possible!
We'll see you back here in two weeks when we speak with 007^{'s biggest ho} himself, the magnificent MikeyKnutson! We'll be taking questions for him in the OOC next week. Until then, why don't you let your eyes Pierce his Brosnan?

We may have a lot of people against us, but it's good to remember that there are a lot of corporations out there that either are for us, or that at least want to keep up appearances.
If someone tells you that they're boycotting Angie's list because they oppose same-sex marriage, show them this list (I just compiled) of other things they should then be boycotting. This [incomplete] list consists of organizations that have received a score of at least 80 from the Human Rights Campaign, and/or that have been specifically targeted for a boycott by the National Organization for Marriage.
And if any employee of a place on this list [I'm specifically thinking of hotels] tries to discriminate on religious grounds, because the larger corporation is on HRC's list, talking to management, or climbing higher up the corporate ladder will probably let you find someone willing to help.
3M products, 409 [the cleaner], 7-Up,
A1 Steak Sauce, AAA [American Automotive Association], Abbott Laboratories, Abercrombie & Fitch, About.com, Abreva, Acuvue contact lenses, Adobe Systems, AdvantEdge, Advil, Aetna, Ajax, Alaska Airlines, Alavert, Aleve, Alka-Seltzer, All brand laundry detergent, Allstate, Almond Joy, Always [feminine care products], Amazon.com, AMC Theaters, AMD, American Airlines, American Eagle, American Express, American Family Insurance, American Girl [the dolls], Android, Angie’s List [and everyone on it], Anheuser-Busch, Apple, Apple Jacks, Aquafina, Aquafresh, Armor All [the stuff that keeps your car door handles looking nice], Art of Shaving, AT&T, ATI, Audi, Aunt Jemima, Aussie haircare, AutoTrader.com, Aveda, Aveeno, Aviance cosmetics, Avis Rent A Car, Avon Products, Away.com, Axe/Lynx deodorant,
Bahama Breeze, Bailey’s Irish Cream, Ball Park Franks, Band-Aid, Bank of America, Bank of New York Mellon, Banquet frozen dinners, Barbie, Barclays Capital, Barnes & Noble, Barq’s Rootbeer, Bath & Body Works, Bayer, Baymont Inn & Suites, Beaulieu Vineyard, Beauty.com, Beck, Behr, Ben & Jerry’s, Benadryl, Benefiber, Bengay, Bentley, Best Buy, Bethesda [the game studio], Betty Crocker, Bioware, Bisquick, Bloomingdale’s, Blue Moon, Blue Stratos Cologne, Bobbi Brown beauty, Boca Burger, Boeing, Bold laundry detergent, Bonamine [AKA Bonine and Dramamine], Bonterra Vineyards, Bon-Ton Stores, Boost Mobile, Bottom Dollar Food, Bounce fabric-softener, Bounty, Breakstone’s, Breath Savers, Breyer’s ice cream, Bridgestone, Brita, British Petroleum, Brown-Forman, Bubble Yum, Bud Light, Budget Rent A Car, Budweiser, Bugatti, Bugles, Buick, Burt’s Bees, Busch Gardens,
Cabbage Patch Kids, Cadbury, Cadillac, Caesars [hotels and casinos], Calgel, California Pizza Kitchen, Caltrate, Camay bath soap, Campbell’s Soup, Cap’n Crunch, The Capital Grille, Capital One, Capri Sun, Captain Morgan, CarePlus Pharmacy, Caress brand soaps, Carr’s, Cascade dishwasher detergent, Cascadian Farm, Celestial Seasonings, Centrum, Chambourd, Chapstick, Charles Schwab, Charmin, Chase, CheapTickets.com, Cheer laundry detergent, Cheerios, Cheetos, Cheez-It, Cheez Whiz, Chef Boyardee, Chevrolet, Chevron, Chex, Chili’s, Chips Ahoy, Chips Deluxe, Choice Hotels, Christina Aguilera perfume, Chrome [web browser], Chrysler, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cirrus [owned by MasterCard], Citigroup [including Citibank], Clairol, Clarion hotels, Claritin, Clean and Clear, Clinique, Clorox, Club Crackers, C.O. Bigelow, Coca cola, Colgate, Comfort Inn, Comfort Suites, Command [the convenient sticky wall hooks], Compaq, ConAgra Foods, Continental Airlines, Cooking Light, Cool Whip, Coors, Coppertone, Corn Pops, Cortizone, Costco, Cottonelle, Country Crock margarine, Country Inns & Suites, Country Time lemonade, Courtyard Hotels, CoverGirl cosmetics, Cracker Jacks, Craftsman, Crate and Barrel, Crayola, Crest, Crispix, Crown Royal, Crystal Light, Cub Foods, CVS,
Darden Restaurants, Dasani bottled water, Dawn [the dish soap], Days Inn, Degree deodorant, Dell, Delta Airlines, Dentyne, Depends, DieHard, Dimetapp, Disneyland, Doctor’s Formula cosmetics, Dodge, Dolce & Gabbana cologne and perfume, Dole, Dollar Rent A Car, Doritos, Dove, Downy, Drano, Dr. Scholl’s, Dulcolax, DuPont, Duracell,
EAS protein shakes, EB Games, Ebay, eBookers.com, Econo Lodge, Egg Beaters, Eggland’s Best, Eggo Waffles, Electronic Arts, Embassy Suites, Ensure, Enterprise Rent A Car, Entertainment Weekly, Era laundry detergent, Estee Lauder, Eukanuba dog and cat foods, Ex-Lax, Excedrin, Expedia,
Facebook, Fairfield Inn, Famous Amos, Famous Footwear, Fannie Mae, Fanta, Fantastik, Farm Fresh, Febreze, FedEx, Fetzer, Fiber One, Fiddle Faddle, Finlandia Vodkas, Firestone, Fischer-Price, Fix-A-Flat, Fixodent denture adhesive, Flickr, Food Lion, Ford, Fortune [magazine], Foster’s, Fox’s Jewelers, Freddie Mac, Fresca, Froot Loops, Frosted Flakes, Fruit by the Foot, Fruit Gushers, Fruit Roll-Ups, Fudgsicle, Fuze,
Gain, GameStop, Gap, Gardetto’s, Gas-X, Gatorade, General Electric, General Mills, General Motors, Gilette, Girl Scout cookies, Glade, GlaxoSmithKline, Gmail, Gold Medal [the flour company], Gold Peak, Good Earth, GoodNites, Goody, Google, Green Giant, Groupon, Gucci cosmetics, Guinness,
Haagen-Dazs, Half.com, Hallmark Cards, Hamburger Helper, Hampton Inn, Hawthorn Suites, Head & Shoulders, Healthy Choice, Heartbrand ice cream, Heath, Hellmann’s, Herbal Essences haircare products, Herradura Tequila, Hershey’s, Hewlett-Packard, Hi-C, Hidden Valley, Hill’s Pet Nutrition, Hillshire Farm, Hilton Garden Inn, Hoegaarden, Holiday Inn, Hollister, Home Depot, HomeGoods, Home Shopping Network, Honest Tea, Honey Maid, Hornbacher’s, Hot Wheels, Hotels.com, Hotmail, Hotwire, House of Blues, HSBC, Huggies, Hunt’s [ketchup], Husky, Hyatt Hotels,
I can’t believe it’s not butter, Iams, IBM, Icebreakers, IMDb, Imodium, InStyle [magazine], Intel, Intuit, Irish Spring, Ivory soap,
Jack Daniels, JC Penney, Jeep, Jell-O, Jet Blue Airways, Jiffy Lube, Jiffy Pop, Jimmy Dean, John Hancock, Johnnie Walker, Johnson & Johnson [including all the medical devices they make], Jolly Rancher, Jose Cuervo, Joy dishwashing liquid,
Kaiser Permanente, KC Masterpiece, Keebler, Kellogg’s, Kenmore, Ketel One, Kevlar, Key Bank, Keystone, Killian’s Irish red, Kimberly-Clark brands, Kirin, Kit Kat, KitchenAid, Kix, Kleenex, Klondike bars, Kmart, Knights Inn, Knorr, Kodak, Kool-Aid, Korbel, Kotex, Kraft, Kroger,
Lactaid, Lamborghini, Land O’Lakes, Lawry’s, Lay’s, Leffe, Leinenkugel’s, Levi, Lexus, Life [cereal], The Limited, Lipton, Liquid Plumr, Listerine, Little Swimmers, Longhorn Steakhouse, Lubriderm, Lucky Charms, Lunchables, Luvs disposable diapers, Lux soap,
Maalox, Macaroni Grill, Macy’s, Maggiano’s Little Italy, Magic Chef, Magnum ice cream bars, Marie Callender’s, Marmite [hear the anti-LGBT Aussies and Kiwis wail], Marriott International, Mars Inc., Marshall’s, MasterCard, Matchbox [the toy cars], Mattel, Mauna Loa, Maxwell House, Maytag, McAfee, McDonald’s, Mc-Graw Hill Publishing, Mello Yello, Memorex, Merck, Merrill Lynch Wealth Management, Metamucil bulk fiber supplement, MetLife, MGM Resorts International, Michelob, Microsoft, Microsoft Office, Microtel Inn & Suites, Midol, Miller, Milwaukee’s Best, Mini-Wheats, Mint.com, Minute Maid, Miracle Whip, Molson, Money [magazine], Monistat, Monsanto, Morgan Stanley, Morningstar Farms, Motorola, Motrin, Mounds, Mountain Dew, Mr. Clean house-hold cleaning products, Mug Root Beer, Muir Glen, Murphy’s Oil Soap, Mylanta,
Nabisco, Naked Juices, Nationwide Insurance, Natural Ice, Nature Valley, Neosporin, Nestea, The New York Times, Newtons [like Fig Newtons], Neutrogena, Nexcare, Nice! Brands, Nicoderm, Nicorette, Nike, Nilla Wafers, No-Doz, Norton, Novartis Pharmaceutical Corp., Nutri-Grain, Nutter Butter,
O’Douls, Odwalla, OFF! [bugspray], Office Center, Office Depot, OfficeMax, Olay, Old El Paso, Old Spice, Olive Garden, On The Border Mexican Grill & Cantina, One-A-Day vitamins, One Touch [the diabetes testing equipment], Oral-B, Orbitz, Oreo, Orville Redenbacher’s, Oscar Mayer, Oust, Overstock.com, Owens Corning,
Pace Salsa, Palmolive, Pam [cooking spray], Pampers, Pantene, Park Inn, Park Plaza Hotels & Resorts, Pasta Roni, Payday [candy bar], PayPal, Pedialyte, PediaSure, Pennzoil, People [magazine], Pepcid, Pepperidge Farm, Pepsi, Pepto-Bismol, Peter Pan peanut butter, Pfizer, Philadelphia Cheese, Photoshop, Pictionary, Pillsbury, Pine-Sol, Planters Peanuts, Playstation, Pledge, Poise, Polly Pocket, Pop Secret, Popsicle, Pop-Tarts, Poppycock, Post-it, Pottery Barn, Powerade, Power Wheels, Prego, Premium Saltine Crackers, Preparation H, Pringles, Proctor and Gamble, Progressive, Progresso, Propel, Prudential, Puffs tissues, Pull-Ups, Purell,
Q-Tips brand cotton swabs, Quaker Oats, Quaker State, Quality [hotels], QuickBooks, Quicken, Qwest,
Radisson Hotels & Resorts, Ragu, Raid, Rain-X, Ramada, REACH [the dental floss], Red Lobster, Red Rose Tea, Red Stripe, Reese’s, Regent Hotels & Resorts, Rembrandt toothpaste, Renaissance Hotels, ReNu, Residence Inn, Rice Krispies, Rice-A-Roni, Rite Aid, Ritz [crackers], The Ritz-Carlton [hotel], Robitussin, Rodeway Inn, Rogaine, Rold Gold, Rolling Rock, Rolo, Roundup, Royal Carribbean Cruises, Rubbermaid, Ruffles,
Safari [web browser], Safeguard soaps, Safeway, Sam’s Club, Sara Lee, Saran, Save-A-Lot, Science Diet, Scion, Scoop Away [cat litter], Scope mouthwash, Scotch [tape], Scotch-Brite, Scotchguard, Scott, Scrubbing Bubbles, Sears, Seasons 52, Seattle’s Best Coffee, SeaWorld, Secret deodorant and body sprays, SeniorMed LLC, Sensodyne, Shell Oil, Sheraton, Shoes.com, Shop ‘n Save, ShopYourWay.com, Shout, Sierra Trading Post, Simply Orange, Skippy Peanut Butter, Silly Putty, Skype, Sleep Inn, Slim Fast, Slim Jim, Smirnoff, Smith’s Dairy, Smartwater, Snapfish, SoBe, Sodexo [the people who do stadium concessions], Softsoap, Sonoma-Cutrer California Wines, Sony, S.O.S., South Beach Living, Southern Comfort, Southwest Airlines, Speedstick, Splenda, Sports Illustrated, SpringHill Suites, Sprint, St. Ives hand and body care, Staples, Starbucks, Starwood Hotels & Resorts, State Farm insurance, Staybridge Suites, Stella Artois, Sterling Vineyards, Stove Top stuffing, STP [the gasoline additive], Suave, Subaru, Sudafed, Sun dishwashing detergent, SunChips, Sun-Maid [raisins], SunTrust, Super 8 Motel, Sustainable Earth, Swanson, Swiffer cleaning products, Symantec,
T Mobile, Tampax feminine care products, Tang, Target, Tazo Teas, Teen Spirit, Teflon, Terra Chips, Texas Instruments, TGI Friday’s, Theraflu, Thrifty Car Rental, Tide [laundry detergent], Tiffany & Co., Tigi shampoo and conditioner, Time Magazine, Time Warner, TJ Maxx, Toblerone, Tombstone Pizza, Tom’s of Maine, Torrefazione Italia Coffee, Tostitos, Total, Totino’s, Town House, Toyota, Travelocity, Travelodge, TRESemmé, Trident, Trip Advisor, Triscuit, Trix, Tropicana, Tuaca Liqueur, Tums, TurboTax, Turkey Hill, Twizzlers, Tyco Electric Racing, Tylenol, Tyvek,
Unilever brands, United Airlines, Universal Parks and Resorts, UNO [the card game], UPS,
V8, Valpak, Vaseline, Velveeta, Venus, Viacom, Vick’s Vapo-rub, Victoria’s Secret, Virgin America, Virgin Mobile, Visa, Visine, Vitaminwater, Viva, VO5 hair care, Volkswagen,
Walgreens, Wal-mart, Walt Disney, Wanchai Ferry, Wasserman Media Group, Waste Management, Wells Fargo, Wesson cooking oil, Westin [hotels], Wheat Thins, Wheatables, Wheaties, Whirlpool, White Barn Candle Company, Whole Foods, Wishbone salad dressing, Woodford Reserve, Wyndham,
Xbox, Xerox Corporation, XtremeMac,
Yahoo, Yoplait, York peppermint patties, YouTube,
Zantac, Zappos.com, Zest, Ziploc, Zynga, Inc., Zyrtec